Because you will achieve them…
So I recently got my dream job. Overcame some big hurdles and also found the best people I could in my social circle. In short, I have everything I set out for 4 years back when I started college…
But I feel a weird void now.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I’m not happy or content. But there is something missing which was all along with me while I did not have the above-mentioned things. That is a GOAL. This is not the first time it’s happening. Every time I get one of my goals there is a period of great dopamine rush and then again the aimlessness.
But I made it… Didn’t I?
So when this happens you start to think that this was not really what you wanted. Maybe some external factors made you choose your goal? But that’s not true most of the time.
Did I really want the goal I have achieved?
Because If I tell my 5 years younger self what I am surrounded with and what I have done with my life. He would first laugh it off and then would definitely well up, yea he didn’t really learn how to control his emotions at that point.
Failure is not the end… But then neither is success.
What do I [try to] do to tackle this?
Now if you have come this far I’m sure you relate to what I have been saying. So far I have been telling you the problem and not the solution. The only reason I do this is to refrain from sounding pretentious know-it-all.
But as someone who has been going through this perpetual plateau known as success(or failure). I do have a trick or two up my sleeve which I want to share with you all.
Let’s go to the battlefield again
This is the easiest advice(to understand), and it works almost all of the time(9 out of 10 of my brain cells recommend it ).
If what you really are missing is a goal then find a new one. Now again you’ll have to beware of how you choose your goal. Because now you have changed as a person, you have new skillsets, a new potential which you built up during your last conquest.
There is a theory that might help you decide your next goal it is known as the flow theory in psychology by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, and it can be easily summarised by the chart below.
It says that a person under certain conditions is in the “Flow”.And Flow inspires peak performances so some use expressions such as ‘everything clicks’ and ‘experiencing a magic moment’.
Doesn’t that sound exactly like what you were missing?
It also explains why you are bored now. As soon as the challenges got over your stills persisted and you were dragged down to the lower triangle of Bore out.
On the contrary, you could’ve climbed the above triangle too. But that makes up for another blog.
So you have to choose your next goal/milestone in such a way that you land back to the FLOW state where everything just clicks.
To achieve this you can do many things like-
Find something out of your job/comfort zone as your goal.
Go and open a youtube channel and work hard for your first 10k subscribers.
Learn something new and try to excel in it
Find a long term goal
Now, this is an effective way. Find your next dream and suddenly you have a plethora of short-term goals you have to start working on.
You do you
This would be the last way to achieve that flow. Take it easy take it fast. Do whatever makes you come back into the correct axis on the graph above. Because for the world, you, at this point are a successful person. So fret not. Take a deep breath… and you do you, because what would I know better I just turned 23 :)